"Thirty-five percent of the trash we picked up was cigarette butts," Howard Bennink told me as I joined him at the lifeguard beach ramp, where he was overseeing the annual Beach Sweep. We gazed out at a nearly perfect sight – sea, sun, surf, sky, smiling people – and wondered why smokers just can't pick up after themselves. Why, smokers, why? 

Twenty percent of the trash was plastic lids from plastic drink bottles. "We didn't pick up many plastic bottles," Howard said. "People are taking their bottles with them, but not the lids." Weird. 

Plastic bags comprised fifteen percent. Food wrappers were another common item. Three aluminum cans lurked under the boardwalk waiting for a litter picker-upper to venture into the sandspurs and retrieve them. 

The Webelo Scouts were out at the beach setting a good example for the entire community. Howard's their Scoutmaster, so they were called to duty, but also clearly enjoying themselves. What better way to channel the energy of ten year-old boys?

They were eager to tell me they'd found a condom. Ewww. (It wasn't in a wrapper; they didn't know if it was used or not. Fear not –they had on gloves for safe litter pick-up!) 

Ocracoke high school students Dalton Kalna and Kyle Tillett came out to help (and earn community service time as required by the school.) They carried back a scuba tank that had washed up.

They reported that they didn't find much trash -- hooray for clean beaches!

The prophylactic was the outlier, though, far outnumbered by the butts. The Webelos helped me with headlines: "Butts are Gross!" and "Clean Your Butts!" were contenders, but "Pick Up Your Butts!" was the strong favorite. 

"It means clean up your cigarettes AND don't be lazy," explained a young Girl Scout helpfully.