Ocracoke Reaches Goal of 100% Enrollment

Citing the dearth of high-paying year-round employment opportunities, Ocracoke's seasonal workforce grasped at the Affordable Care Act in elation and desperation. Late Monday evening, their fingers were flashing on keyboards and touch screens as they hastened to meet the deadline.

"I had to spend 8 hours on the website, and get two new email accounts to finish my application, but it was worth it," said one newly insured citizen in apparent robust health. "Just look at this free tote bag they sent me."

Ocracokers, who overwhelmingly voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012, seemed unconcerned with the roll-out problems that plagued the healthcare.gov website when it debuted in the fall.

"Who was gonna sign up before they had to?" yawned one slacker, who had time for another beer before heading home to enroll. "Who does their taxes before April 14th? Everybody waits til the last minute."