Sundae Horn
Joe Exotic enrolled in a SCUBA class in his prison job training program.
Joe Exotic enrolled in a SCUBA class in his prison job training program.

Joe Exotic rebrands as The Tiger Shark King; opening new attraction on Ocracoke.

In an characteristically unpredictable move, former private zoo owner Joe Maltonado-Passage, who goes by the nom-de-cirque Joe Exotic, has decided to give up his claim on land-dwelling mammals. Joe is also done with dusty Oklahoma and ready for the wind and waves of the Outer Banks. He's in talks with Netflix about a new series titled "The Tiger Shark King: Waves, Weirdos, and Wankers."

"I'm ready for a change," he told the Current during one of his two allowed calls per day. "I'd like to get my feet wet in a new business model, where I go into the animal's habitat instead of bringing them to mine."

When asked if he would miss the cute and cuddly tiger cubs he raised for year, Joe said, "Sharks are misunderstood. And even though they're fish, they're not nearly as cold-blooded as Carole Baskin!"

In an agreement with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the U.S. Coast Guard, and NOAA, Joe has leased ten square miles within Pamlico Sound (including Ocracoke Inlet) for his own "Outer Banks eXperience eXtravaganza"! The new attraction, sure to bring loads of the Tiger King's fans to Ocracoke, will offer several recreational activities including:

Joe and Carole's rivalry is dividing Ocracoke, even after we've been united by scapegoating NRPOs.
Joe and Carole's rivalry is dividing Ocracoke, even after we've been united by scapegoating NRPOs.

Local business owners are excited about the prestige that Joe Exotic will bring to Ocracoke, and island residents are thrilled to serve as extras in the next hit documentary. Joe, an accomplished country singer-songwriter, is expected to headline the next Ocrafolk Festival. 

The island's charter captains are eager to work with Joe Exotic, who will depend on the locals to get his customers to and from the "eXperience."

"Everybody who goes into business with me is satisfied with the arrangement," Joe said. "I'm sure I'll get along great with the Ocracoke watermen."

Not everyone is happy about this new development. Ocracats, a local non-profit, has issued an official statement of opposition, claiming that Joe has a long history of harassing, and possibly plotting to murder, women who fancy felines. 

"Crazy cat ladies need to stick together," the press release stated. "We are holding a special fundraiser for Carole Baskin's criminal defense in case she is suspected in the murder of her first husband, which is absolutely absurd! We invite all you cool cats and kittens to join us in supporting Ms Baskin and denouncing Mr. Maltanado-Passage."

A helpful PSA. Be safe, Be careful. Be well.
A helpful PSA. Be safe, Be careful. Be well.

Meanwhile, Joe's young husband, Dillon Passage, has already moved to the island to begin building the business while Joe serves his time in prison. We suspect that he is the driver of the pick-up truck that scuds all around the village late at night every. single. night. 

A fish fry fundraiser is in the works (as soon as the visitor ban is lifted) for Joe Exotic's appeals court fees and lawyer.